Aruni Kashyap’s How to Date a Fanatic is a tender yet unsettling novel about love, friendship and the struggle to remain free in a society marked by growing political and social tensions.
Set in contemporary Delhi, the novel follows Rohit, a young professor who is in love with his close friend Dhruv, an activist who would rather define their relationship as that of “soulmates” than lovers. Heartbroken and unable to move on, Rohit begins seeing other men and eventually meets Sayan. What follows is a complicated relationship, shaped as much by Rohit’s lingering feelings for Dhruv as by the increasingly tense world around them.
At first, the novel moves through familiar territory—unrequited love, emotional confusion, friendships and the uncertainties of new relationships. But Kashyap gradually widens the canvas. Political tensions begin to affect campus life, and Rohit, Dhruv, Sayan and their circle of queer friends find themselves dealing with a reality where questions of identity, safety and freedom can no longer be separated from everyday life.
The strength of the novel lies in the way Kashyap writes friendship. The group is lively, argumentative, funny and deeply affectionate. Their conversations move easily between relationships, politics, work and personal anxieties. The humour feels natural, and so does the way they stand by one another when circumstances become difficult.
Importantly, the characters are not written only through the lens of fear or discrimination. They fall in love, make mistakes, tease one another, argue, celebrate and try to build ordinary lives. That sense of normalcy gives the novel much of its emotional force, especially as the atmosphere around them becomes more uncertain.
Kashyap has said he began writing the book in 2016 while trying to understand what it meant to live in a constant state of fear and uncertainty. Having grown up in Assam during the insurgency years, he was familiar with such anxiety, but he was struck by the growing divisions he was witnessing in Delhi and elsewhere. That experience forms an important backdrop to the novel.
The book repeatedly returns to the idea that personal and political freedoms are closely connected. The characters’ search for love and belonging runs parallel to larger questions about democracy, security and individual choice. Can people feel protected without giving up their freedom? Can love survive when social and political pressures begin to intrude into private lives?
These questions give the novel its urgency.
At the same time, the narrative is not without its uneven moments. Some sections feel repetitive, and the story occasionally becomes crowded as several personal and political strands develop at once. There are stretches where the pace slows and the reader may find it difficult to remain equally invested in every subplot.
Yet the relationships between the characters keep the book grounded. The friendships provide both warmth and emotional stability, preventing the novel from becoming weighed down by its darker themes.
The humour also plays an important role. Kashyap uses wit not to dilute the seriousness of the subject, but to show how people continue to live, laugh and seek companionship even when the world around them feels increasingly hostile.
How to Date a Fanatic ultimately works as both a relationship novel and a portrait of queer life under social and political pressure. It is about romantic longing, but also about friendship, dignity, belonging and the desire to live without fear.
Despite some pacing issues, the novel leaves a strong impression because of the humanity of its characters. It is funny in places, deeply moving in others, and at its best when it shows how friendship and love can become sources of strength in uncertain times.
Published by HarperCollins under its Fourth Estate imprint, How to Date a Fanatic is a timely and affecting novel that asks a difficult but enduring question: how do people continue to love freely when freedom itself begins to feel fragile?
